Richieville is proud to announce our newest venture - children's programming! Here's the first installment of, "Sing Along With Laurie." This song is inspired by Newt Gingrich's call for poor kids to go to work as janitors. It's sure to teach your kids all about the Republican work ethic, which is, let other people do the work.
The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops announced a new policy today under which Catholic organizations, including schools, universities and hospitals, would no longer pay their female employees.
"We realized we were being inconsistent," said Bishop Charles Francis Xavier. "We said we wouldn't pay for a woman's health insurance because she might use it to get birth control. But meanwhile we're paying her wages and she might use her pay to get birth control. I mean, what's the difference? So we decided we better not give women any money because you never know what they're going to do with it."
The Bishops had considered another option, requiring all female employees to pledge that they would never use birth control under peril of their immortal souls. But Bishop Xavier said that idea was quickly discarded. "We already tried it with Catholics," he explained, "and you see how badly that turned out."