Campaign Notes

McCain’s Speechmaking Panned by Pundits

Disney Imagineers Plan Emergency Upgrade

Disney engineers hope to animate Senator McCain.

Richieville News Service  – BURBANK, CA
Following John McCain’s widely-panned performance in a speech given last Tuesday in Kenner, Louisiana, Republican strategists have called in engineers from the Walt Disney Company for what is being termed an “emergency upgrade,” to the candidate’s public speaking abilities.
The Disney Imagineers, as they are called, are known for their innovative designs of theme park rides and attractions, including audio-animatronic figures of Abraham Lincoln and other American presidents. A team of the special effects wizards was being flown to McCain headquarters in Washington, where they planned to give the presumptive Republican nominee a, “more life-like” appearance.
“It’s a challenge, for sure,” said Stephen McQuire, one of the Imagineers, as helped load several tons of computers and robotic parts onto a chartered Boeing C-135 cargo plane. “But we’re up for it. I don’t know if we can get him as animated as our Grover Cleveland, but we’re sure going to give it a hell of a try.”

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