Category Archives: George Bush

Those Were The Days

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Republicans Hope To 
Ride Wave Of Nostalgia

Voters Yearn For Good Old Days Of 2008

 The good old days.

Richieville News Service – WASHINGTON
Republican strategists across the country believe they are poised to make big gains in the coming midterm elections, based on poll numbers that show many voters gripped by an unexplained wave of nostalgia for the year 2008. According to pollsters, this collective national yearning hits across the political spectrum and takes the form of a longing for a bygone era when life seemed simpler.

“Life seemed simpler then,” remarked Horace T. Pettigrew, an online used car salesman and  self-described Tea Party member from   Grand Rapids, Michigan. “David Cook was the American Idol – remember him? And the entire world economy was about to collapse. Boy, do I miss that.”

Mary G. Pendergast, a hair extensions importer from Fort Worth, also remembers 2008 as a high point. “That was the year Matt chose Shayne on The Bachelor.  Also we were fighting two open-ended wars in Asia. Why couldn’t things go on like that forever? Back then the whole world hated us – the way they’re supposed to. Plus, in 2008, I’m pretty sure we didn’t have any Muslims living in the U.S. We sure didn’t have one in the White House.”
Surprisingly, the desire to return to the days before Lady Gaga, 3-d movies and a national health insurance  law includes supporters of President Obama as well as opponents. Marvin B. Pottishaw, a video blogger from Sacramento, was an enthusiastic supporter of candidate Obama in 2008. “Before Obama I had never voted for a candidate I liked who actually won,” he said with wistful look.  “It was easy to have an opinion about politics – I just automatically hated anyone in power. Now I can’t tell if Obama is trying his best against very tough opposition or is he just another Democratic sellout? It’s very disorienting. At least with Bush  I knew what to think.”

While anecdotal evidence suggests that some voters may not harbor a wish to return to the idyllic days of 24 months ago, for others the choice is clear. “I’m voting for anyone who can restore things the way they were,” said Mr. Pettigrew. “There’s still hope. The Democrats haven’t been able to mess everything up. We still have an economic crisis, Afghanistan, tax cuts for the rich, global warming and a load of other stuff left over from the past. And  best of all, there’s still a couple of Bushes who haven’t been President yet.”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

Richieville Lifestyle Tips

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Americans Embrace Idea Of “Time Horizon”

Can You Make It Work For You?

Following the leadership of President Bush, millions of Americans have enthusiastically replaced their outmoded “deadlines” and “timelines” with the latest trend in time management – the general time horizon. As the president demonstrated just last week, a strict and rigid timetable for getting things done may not be the best approach to solving problems, whether it’s household finance or getting out of a five-year-old land war in Asia. 
In place of an unforgiving and stress-producing timeline, Mr. Bush suggested instead  a “general time horizon” for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq. You might not think so at first glance, but that little phrase is more than a rhetorical device used by the president to avoid admitting the complete failure of his previous policy. It just might be your key to a happier and more carefree life. How does it work? Here are some tips for putting a time horizon on your horizon. 
* Tell your bank or mortgage holder that you are switching from a monthly payment “deadline” to a more flexible payment time horizon. Explain that the transfer of your payment is an aspirational goal, one that will require effort on both sides to meet.
* At your next AA or 12-step meeting, stand up and announce that you have adopted a time horizon for giving up your addiction to glue sniffing and prescription pain killers. Make it clear that a strict timetable, such as quitting right away, does not allow for adjustment for developments “on the ground.”
* Schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss setting a general time horizon for your arrival at work each day. Remember, what’s important is that you agree on the mission, not when it starts or ends.
* Use time horizons when cooking or baking! That turkey will come out of the oven when people are ready to eat it – not sooner, not later.
* Tell your ex-spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend that you cannot set a firm timetable for moving out of the apartment. Setting a withdrawal date will only embolden them to begin another (probably destructive) relationship that much sooner.
* On your next night out, don’t consult the movie timetables. Instead, use a general time horizon to plan when you get to the theater. If the movie has already started, even if it’s almost over, stay the course and see it anyway.
See how easy it is? You can also use time horizons when refilling your gas tank or walking the dog or feeding the baby. There are hundreds, if not billions of ways to use time horizons in your everyday life. Try one and see. Get started today – or tomorrow, or whenever.  Whatever you’re doing may not be on time, but it will definitely be on the horizon!