Category Archives: mosque

Mosque Mania Part III

Group Calls For Expedition
To Free Hallowed Ground
En Route, Demonstrators Lay Siege To Milwaukee

 An earlier demonstration.
Richieville News Service – NEW YORK CITY
A group calling itself The New Knights of 9/11 said today it was pressing forward with its plans to send an expeditionary force  to New York City to, as they put it, “reclaim the hallowed ground of Ground Zero.” This announcement came despite numerous reports of  instances of plunder and pillage by marauding bands of demonstrators en route to Lower Manhattan. 
Rev. Gregory Urban VII, the spiritual leader of the Las Vegas  megachurch, Clermont Council, restated his original call for the cross-country campaign, saying that, “god-fearing Americans must to travel to the East, by plane, on foot or by RV, to free the holy territory of Park Place and West Broadway.” Reverend Urban was referring to the plan to build an Islamic community center in the neighborhood, two blocks from the former site of the World Trade Center.  
The minister denied that he was calling for a religious crusade. “This isn’t about religion,” he said. “It’s about the fact that they’re Muslims.”  He also said that the campaign was not aimed at other businesses within a two-block radius of the Ground Zero site, such as strip clubs like the  New York Dolls Gentleman’s Club and the Pussycat Lounge or Thunder Lingerie, a sex shop with a peep show. “We’ve got no problem with anyone else,” he said. “Unless it’s an Islamic peep show – then they have to go.” 
Rev. Urban insisted that his movement was not responsible for the actions of groups calling themselves New Crusaders who in recent days have left the original route of the protest to lay siege to Milwaukee and other Midwest cities, demanding tribute at the point of sword. “Crusades are messy things,” he said. “You have to expect a  little rape and pillage.”
Meanwhile, early arrivals of the New Knights movement were having trouble finding the site of the proposed community center. “We’ve got our catapults and siege engines behind the RV,” said a retiree from Branson, Missouri, who would only identify himself as Peter The Hermit.  “So we drove down to the Ground Zero site to reclaim the holy land, but we couldn’t find the mosque. It’s almost like it’s not at Ground Zero at all.”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

Mosque Mania Part II

Ground Zero Mosque 
To Perform Gay Marriages

NY Islamic Center Will Also 
Aid Illegal Immigrants

Richieville News Service – NEW YORK CITY

Republican leaders redoubled their criticisms of the plan to build an Islamic community center, including a mosque, near the Ground Zero site in downtown Manhattan, saying that not only would the center be an insult to the, “hallowed ground,” of the September 11 attacks, but they have information that the Imam of the planned mosque intends to conduct gay marriages there.

“This just gets worse and worse,” said Roy Sowerberry,  a spokesman for the Republican National Committee. “Every time we turn around we find out something else  about this project  that we made up.  Not only is the day care center in this place going to turn out Islamic terrorist toddlers, but those babies  are going to have two fathers.”

Mr. Sowerberry did not explain how the Imam will be able to wed gay couples, since same-sex marriage is not legal in New York State. He did insist, however, that in addition to supporting Islamo-fascism and the destruction of the American family, the center would also be used to aid illegal immigrants from Latin America.

“That’s right,” Mr. Sowerberry added, “those terrorist gay babies won’t even know how to speak English. After they blow you up, they’ll steal your job while their gay parents kiss in public!”

The GOP spokesman added his voice to the chorus of Republican criticism of President Obama on this issue. “We think voters will rightfully be afraid of the President’s Islamic, Hispanic, homosexual agenda and vote against it this fall. And if they don’t, we’ll think of something else that will frighten them.”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.