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Richieville Health News

Hydrofracking: 
Not As Much Fun As It Sounds



Not what you thought it was?



Richieville News Service – WASHINGTON
Officials in several states have joined together to launch a new public health initiative, aimed at the increasing number of young people who have mistaken the term hydrofracking for a sexual euphemism, often with disastrous results. Hydrofracking is in fact a controversial method for fracturing deep shale deposits to release natural gas, not a slang term for  a sex act involving swimming pools, bathtubs or car washes.
The public health campaign, under the slogan, “Hydrofrack Is Whack,” will produce a series of television and Internet commercials aimed at teens. Several celebrities have agreed to  participate including Snooki,  Bow Wow, Sophie from the  tenth season of Big Brother UK, and a Kardashian to be named later. 
Organizers of the campaign have expressed concern that their efforts will be seen as  supporting critics of the mineral extraction type of hydrofracking. According to campaign director Terrence Nightingale, the ads are directed only at idiotic behavior on the part of sexually curious teens.
“We are not commenting on the wisdom of injecting high pressure water and toxic chemicals into deep shale deposits, which can poison the water table and releases natural gas into the soil where it then migrates into people’s homes and comes out of their faucets. We just want teens to know that hydrofracking is definitely not something you want to be doing on a  Saturday night.”
For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

Oy, Vey!

South Africa Circumcision Plan 
Creates Worldwide Mohel Shortage

Richieville News Service – JOHANNESBURG
In response to news that the government of South Africa plans to circumcise five million men, tens of thousands of rabbis from around the globe have flocked to this African nation in recent days. The rabbis, all of whom are mohels, trained to perform the Jewish circumcision ritual, have set up shop here in the capital and throughout South Africa, waiting for the anticipated, “bris boom,” to begin.
Although the circumcision effort, designed to halt the spread of AIDS, was originally planned to be carried out in hospitals, the South African government seemed happy about the mohel influx. 
“Five million circumcisions is a lot,” said Daniel Naidoo, a spokesman for the Department of Health. “So we’re going to need all the help we can get. I just hope they’re not all kosher.” 
However, the sudden shift of so many mohels has created something of a crisis for international Judaism, forcing Jewish parents of newborn sons to scramble to find qualified practitioners. Mohel training institutes and rabbinical schools were adding courses to try to make up the shortfall. 
“We’re training them as fast as we can,” said Rabbi Kenny Solomon of Yeshiva University in New York, “but believe me, this isn’t something you want to rush.”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.