There’s An App For That

New iPhone App Will Help Chinese 
Workers Realize Apple Is Cool

Richieville News Service – CUPPERTINO
Programmers at Apple Computer today proudly unveiled a new program for the Apple iPhone and iPad, one they said was designed to address the needs of workers in Chinese factories that make those products. The application, or “Appleapp,” is a combination ebook, online multi-player game, and animated music video that takes advantage of the devices’ unique touch screen and motion-sensing capabilities. 
“We wanted to bring the true excitement of Apple to the assembly line workers who produce our ground-breaking iPhones and iPads,” said John Podsnap, a company spokesman. “After all, these guys live on the factory grounds where they work six or seven days a week so they probably don’t have time to visit an Apple retail store. This app will help them appreciate just how cool Apple is.” ”  

Apple’s manufacturing system has come under some scrutiny lately with reports that over a dozen workers at factories in Shenzen, China have committed suicide since the start of the year. The workers died at plants run by Foxconn, a Taiwan-based manufacturer who also produces equipment for Dell, HP and other U.S. companies. Responding to the reports, Steve Jobs, Apple’s legendary CEO, insisted that Foxconn factories were not, “sweatshops,” and that the company’s plants were, “pretty nice,” with, “restaurants, movie theaters, hospitals and swimming pools.”

“Yes, Foxconn factories are kind of like Club Med,” elaborated Mr. Podsnap. “Except instead of snorkeling, wind surfing and sunbathing, you work on an assembly line 12 hours a day for about a dollar an hour.”
Mr. Podsnap pointed out that since the news of the suicides had spread, Foxconn had doubled wages, to about $300 a month, although he admitted it might have been a better idea to raise wages before workers started throwing themselves from the tops of Foxconn’s buildings. The Apple spokesperson said the company had high hopes that the new app would help the Chinese employees feel better about their role in the manufacture of  Apple’s “revolutionary” products. 
“The new app will be available free of charge on the iPhone App Store,” Mr. Podsnap told reporters. “It’s very cool and I think they’ll really enjoy it. Now all they have to do is make enough to be able to afford an iPhone.”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

 

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