Feel The Pain

Congress, State Legislatures 
To Be Outsourced

Chinese Law Makers To Work For Less

Richieville News Service – WASHINGTON, D.C.
In a bold cost-cutting move,  federal and state administrators announced plans to begin outsourcing large components of government, beginning with both chambers of Congress and the state legislatures of California, New Jersey, Ohio, Florida, Arizona, Texas and Delaware. The law-making bodies will be relocated to Guangdong Province, China where the duties of the U.S. legislators will be taken over by lower-paid Chinese workers.
“We know this will be painful, but these tough times call for belt-tightening all around,” said Edna Murgatroyd, of the Congressional Budget Office. “This way we don’t have to lay off government workers who actually do something. Not only do those Chinese legislators work for fifty cents and hour but since they don’t have election campaigns, lobbyists won’t have to give them nearly as much money to win their votes. It’s a win-win all around.”
According to Ms. Murgatroyd, the federal government was looking into outsourcing other government functions. “Next on our list is health care,” she said. “Other countries deliver better care for less money, so why not hire another country to run our health care system and save the U.S. taxpayer a bundle?  Right now it’s between Belgium and Denmark.”

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