You’re The One That I Want

Iran Lists Official Haircuts, 

Plans National Production Of Grease

A casting agent with approved haircuts.


Richieville News Service – TEHERAN

Iran’s Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance today released photographs of haircuts it considered appropriate for young men. The hairstyles, many reminiscent of ones that were popular in the 1950’s, are part of a two-pronged effort to reduce un-Islamic influences and at the same time prepare the country for next summer’s tour of the musical Grease.

“We’re want to encourage proper grooming in our young people,” said Jaled Khodayar, one of the Ministry officials behind the new hair codes. “And we’re looking for our perfect Iranian Danny and Sandy.” She was referring, of course, to the characters played by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John in the hit movie based on the Broadway musical. “We think these haircuts will really help our casting process.”

Ms. Khodayar said the Ministry expected young men to adopt the haircuts in the hope of being plucked from obscurity and finding fame in the spotlight, singing hit tunes such as “You’re The One That I Want,” “Born To Hand Jive,” and the title number, “Grease.”
“And if they don’t get cast, at least they won’t wind up in prison,” Ms. Khodayar added. She said that the feared Iranian morality police would be roving the streets, ensuring compliance and looking for likely candidates for the roles of Doody, Sonny and Putzie.  
“It turns out that Ahmadinejad  is something of a musical theater nut,” Ms. Khodayar said, explaining the seeming contradiction of an Islamic Republic production of  a rock and roll musical. “Who knew? Just be glad we didn’t go with his first choice – Cats.”
For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

Leave a Reply