Hot Air

McCain, In New Orleans

Proposes Hurricane Defense Shield
John McCain vowed to fight hurricanes.

Richieville News Service – KENNER, LA
Seeking to distance himself even further from George Bush, Senator John McCain delivered a major address here today and vowed that the mistakes made in response to the destruction of hurricane Katrina would not be repeated under his administration. The candidate went on to propose a multi-billion dollar hurricane defense system consisting of long-range missile installations around the Gulf Coast and Caribbean. The system would, as the senator put it,”fight hurricanes and other low pressure systems and never give up, not ever.”
It was not immediately clear how missiles armed with multiple warheads would be an effective defense against hurricanes or if the countries of the area, several of whom have strained relations with the U.S, would agree to the placement of the weapons on their territory.
Martin P. Thackery, a climatologist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, was asked if such a system would be useful in stopping or at least mitigating the effects of massive tropical storms. He replied. “No.” Other climate experts seemed to be in agreement with his assessment of the senator’s plan. 
In spite of this, Senator McCain vowed to press on with his plan, saying, “The only way to oppose force is with force. My opponent will tell you we can’t win the fight against hurricanes like Katrina, that it’s time to surrender. But I can look you straight in the eye and tell you this will work. And I plan to keep at it, even if it takes a hundred years.”

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