Two Moms Are Better Than One

Study Shows Lesbians Make Better Parents,
Men More Useless Than Ever

Richieville News Service – SAN FRANCISCO
The results of a 25-year-long study of children of lesbian couples shows that they are more well-adjusted and have fewer psychological problems than children raised by heterosexual partners, proving once again that men are more or less totally useless.
“Well, what did you expect?” said Dr. Margaret Bilitis, Chair of the Department of Theoretical Gender at Northumbria University. “It’s not like men are exactly famous for their parenting skills.” 
Across the nation, football coaches, scout leaders and high school assistant principals seemed especially disturbed by the findings. 
“I guess kids really don’t need a strong male authority figure,” said Derrick Montgomery, who volunteers as a little league coach in Raritan, New Jersey. “It turns out that two moms are better at teaching them  teamwork and respect for hard work. My whole existence is based on a lie!”
Gender expert Dr. Bilitis did hold out some hope for men like Mr. Montgomery.  “I wouldn’t say that men are totally useless,” she pointed out. “After all, where else are lesbians going to get sperm?”
For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

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