Back To The Future

Y2K Disaster Nearing 
End Of First Decade
Scientists Search For Software Fix

The source of our all our problems?

Richieville News Service – NEW YORK CITY

Hundreds of computer engineers and social scientists, who until recently shared the belief that the Y2K problem had been narrowly avoided in the year 2000, have now come to the startling conclusion that the much-feared apocalyptic disaster did occur, and is responsible for most of the unfortunate events of the past ten years. 
“It took us a while to connect the dots,” said Dr. Cora Petersen, Professor of  Cataclysmic Engineering at Northumbria University. “At first we thought we’d dodged a bullet, but now we see it’s actually a lot worse than we predicted. I mean, I thought there’d be some computer crashes or maybe the records at the motor vehicles bureau would be wiped out. But a worldwide bank failure and the destruction of New Orleans? That’s really bad.”
Although Professor Petersen said there was no direct proof that catastrophic events since the year 2000 have been the result of software problems, she, like many of her colleagues, believe there is no other plausible explanation.

“How else can you explain everything that’s happened?” she insisted. “George Bush manages to become President of the U.S., terrorists attacks, war in Afghanistan, war in Iraq, giant hurricanes, food shortages, the Gulf oil spill, rising deficits, ten percent unemployment – it all traces back to the year 2000.”

Ms. Petersen said the recent discovery of the ongoing Y2K crisis, though disturbing, did contain a silver lining. “Hey, if this is all just a software problem, then we can fix it,” she pointed out. “That’s a lot better than finding out that the basic mechanisms of democracy are broken, our society has entered an irreversible decline and we’ve ruined our planet for generations to come. Instead, all we have to do is change a few lines of code and reset the clocks on the world’s computers. Then we can start the decade over from the beginning. So this is good news – we get to have a do-over!”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

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