Mosque Mania Part III

Group Calls For Expedition
To Free Hallowed Ground
En Route, Demonstrators Lay Siege To Milwaukee

 An earlier demonstration.
Richieville News Service – NEW YORK CITY
A group calling itself The New Knights of 9/11 said today it was pressing forward with its plans to send an expeditionary force  to New York City to, as they put it, “reclaim the hallowed ground of Ground Zero.” This announcement came despite numerous reports of  instances of plunder and pillage by marauding bands of demonstrators en route to Lower Manhattan. 
Rev. Gregory Urban VII, the spiritual leader of the Las Vegas  megachurch, Clermont Council, restated his original call for the cross-country campaign, saying that, “god-fearing Americans must to travel to the East, by plane, on foot or by RV, to free the holy territory of Park Place and West Broadway.” Reverend Urban was referring to the plan to build an Islamic community center in the neighborhood, two blocks from the former site of the World Trade Center.  
The minister denied that he was calling for a religious crusade. “This isn’t about religion,” he said. “It’s about the fact that they’re Muslims.”  He also said that the campaign was not aimed at other businesses within a two-block radius of the Ground Zero site, such as strip clubs like the  New York Dolls Gentleman’s Club and the Pussycat Lounge or Thunder Lingerie, a sex shop with a peep show. “We’ve got no problem with anyone else,” he said. “Unless it’s an Islamic peep show – then they have to go.” 
Rev. Urban insisted that his movement was not responsible for the actions of groups calling themselves New Crusaders who in recent days have left the original route of the protest to lay siege to Milwaukee and other Midwest cities, demanding tribute at the point of sword. “Crusades are messy things,” he said. “You have to expect a  little rape and pillage.”
Meanwhile, early arrivals of the New Knights movement were having trouble finding the site of the proposed community center. “We’ve got our catapults and siege engines behind the RV,” said a retiree from Branson, Missouri, who would only identify himself as Peter The Hermit.  “So we drove down to the Ground Zero site to reclaim the holy land, but we couldn’t find the mosque. It’s almost like it’s not at Ground Zero at all.”

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

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