Conjure This!

Louisiana Expands Search 
For Lost Mojo
National Guard To Assist
Richieville News Service – NEW ORLEANS
Reeling from the second catastrophic disaster to hit their shores in five years, officials in Louisiana announced today that they were redoubling efforts to find the state’s lost mojo, believed to be the root cause of the phenomenally bad luck the state has been experiencing. National Guard units joined Louisiana State Troopers and local law enforcement officers in the hunt, which will now expand into Mississippi and Texas.
“We’re looking for a red flannel bag, about three inches across,” said Big Mama Odie, the Louisiana Commissioner  for Culture, Tourism and Hoodoo, “tied with piece of leather made from the tail of a female opossum.”
Ms. Odie declined to answer questions about the bag’s contents, although according to a source in the Governor’s office, they are said to include a black cat bone, snakeskin and tobacco snuff.
“The bag has been missing since July 2005,” Ms. Odie told reporters. “We don’t know if it was just misplaced or it was stolen by someone who means us harm, but we are working round the clock to get it back.”
Ms. Odie also would not comment on possible counter measures being planned by state authorities, including charms, curses, hexes, voodoo dolls or zombie incarnations.
“Just let’s say that whoever took this is going to be mighty sorry,” she said . “We don’t know a conjure to fix oil leaks, but we do know a few that will make you need a good dermatologist. Did you hear that, BP?”  

For more Richieville humor, read the comic sci-fi novel, Rate Me Red.

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