Mosque Mania

GOP Plan Would Move 
Ground Zero To Alaska

The new Ground Zero?

Richieville News Service – NEW YORK CITY

Saying that lower Manhattan is no longer an appropriate place for a memorial to the victims of a terrorist attack that took place in lower Manhattan, Republican leaders unveiled a  new plan to preserve what they called the, “hallowed ground,” of Ground Zero by relocating it someplace other than New York City.
“New York is a nice place to visit,” said Roy Sowerberry,  a spokesman for the Republican National Committee, “but I wouldn’t want to build a World Trade Center memorial there, even if it is the former site of the World Trade Center.”
The RNC spokesman joined a growing list of Republican leaders, including former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, former Georgia congressman Newt Gingrich, and New York congressman Peter King who have been critical of the decision to allow an Islamic community center, including a mosque, to be built two blocks from the Ground Zero site. Conservative politicians and pundits say that construction of the center, which will include a swimming pool, a childcare center, a library and an auditorium, represents a victory for Islamic terrorism. And since New York City officials, including Mayor Bloomberg, have refused to block the project, these same critics say the only alternative is to move Ground Zero someplace else.

“Just because terrorists keep attacking New York City, that doesn’t mean  it’s the right place for this important monument to the war on terror,” said Mr. Sowerberry.  “Ground Zero should be someplace with real American values, a place that doesn’t allow people to just build houses of worship wherever they want.”

The GOP spokesman said that Wasilla, Alaska was at the top of the list of possible locations for the new World Trade Center memorial. “You won’t find any mosques in Wasilla, believe me,” he said. “Or any illegal Hispanics, or black people or gays. Just real God-fearing Islam-hating Americans.”

Mr. Sowerberry would not confirm that sites in Iowa, long considered America’s heartland, had originally been considered but had been rejected because gay marriage is legal in that state. He did say that Las Vegas had put in a strong bid to be the Ground Zero host but had been turned down because, as he put it, “they already have a Statue of Liberty.” 
Although Wasilla is considerably more remote than New York City, Mr. Sowerberry insisted this would be beneficial, allowing site administrators to keep out “undesirables,” who might want to visit the planned monument to freedom. “Our Ground Zero will be open to everyone,” he said,”just make sure you bring your birth certificate – if you have one.”

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