Energy Crisis Update

Oil Countries Deadlocked
Should They Be Obscenely Wealthy Or Just Filthy Rich?
U.S. Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman spoke in favor of “filthy rich.”

Richieville News Service – JIDDA, SAUDI ARABIA
Hopes for a breakthrough that would halt soaring energy prices were dashed today when oil exporters meeting here could not agree on exactly how stinking rich they should be. The emergency global energy summit ended without a hoped-for agreement to increase oil production. Instead, the representatives remained deadlocked, split between those who said that rolling in dough was sufficient for them at this time and others who maintained that they needed more money than they knew what to do with. 
“It’s a thorny problem,” said Saudi Oil Minister Ali al-Naimi, as he headed for his gold-plated Rolls Royce. “I mean, how much is enough? Is it having money to burn, or is it having cash up the wazoo? We have a lot of expenses, you know. Those madrassas don’t build themselves.” 
Although the Saudis did pledge a modest rise in their oil output, other nations said they either could not or would not increase production. Rafael Ramirez, president of the Venezuelan state-owned oil company, insisted that the company, which is expected to have revenues of over $75 billion in 2008, is just, “comfortably well-off.” Meanwhile, the Kuwaiti Oil Minister, Mohammed al-Olaim, would only admit  that the Kuwait Oil Company, “made a nice living.”
“How much money is too much?” Mr. al-Olaim asked reporters as he boarded his solid-platinum helicopter. “When we find out, we’ll let you know.” 

2 comments to Energy Crisis Update

  • Dear Richie,
    Why did you not tell your readers that Dick Cheney also attended the meeting? Are you secretly on his payroll, heaping abuse on Middle Eastern autocrats while Cheney’s not so secret role as the head of OPEC goes unexamined?
    Sincerely,
    Your Devoted Reader,
    heretofore known as YDR.

  • Dear YDR,

    The staff at Richieville is very hurt by your accusation. Like the rest of the media, we don’t need to be paid off to distort the news – we do it because that’s our job!

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