Richieville News Service – MIAMI, FL

Porters at Miami International Airport staged a wildcat strike today, after learning that Baptist Minister and Christian Right  leader George Allen Rekers said that he had hired a young gay escort to “carry his luggage.”  Rekers, a co-founder of the rabidly anti-gay Family Research Council, admitted that he had paid the man to accompany him on a ten day trip to Europe, but said he didn’t realize his companion was a prostitute until halfway through the trip.

“I recently had surgery,” he told reporters here, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.” He did admit, however that he had contacted the young man through a website called rentboy.com where his profile described him as having a “smooth, sweet, tight ass,” and a, “perfectly built, eight-inch cock (uncut).”

The revelation that “carrying luggage” could be mistaken for male prostitution came as a shock to porters, bellhops and other service workers who routinely are asked to do exactly that.  Angry and confused Redcaps at Miami International Airport formed picket lines in the early morning. There were reports of similar work stoppages at other terminals and bus stations.

“I’ve been a porter for 21 years,” said Marlon Williams, one of the leaders of the strike. “In all that time, I had no idea that, ‘carrying luggage’ was a euphemism for gay sex. Now, when someone asks us to carry their luggage, how are we supposed to know what they mean? It’s very aggravating.”

At hotels in downtown Miami and other major cities, belllhops were organizing their own picket lines. In front of the Miami Four Seasons, Ricardo Montez stood holding a placard that read, “I Don’t ‘Carry Luggage’ (Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That.)”

“We’re ready to work,” Mr. Montez  explained, “as soon as someone comes up with a new term for carrying luggage or a new euphemism for gay sex, or both.”