Dalai Lama, Pope To Confer
Why is Kim Jong Il no longer evil?
Richieville News Service –VATICAN CITY
Religious leaders and philosophers from around the world gathered here today to ponder what many are calling a true modern miracle – the sudden disappearance of evil from the country of North Korea. The communist dictatorship, long isolated and reviled as a member of the Axis of Evil, has experienced a dramatic turnaround, losing so much evil in recent weeks that U.S. President Bush declared it no longer a state sponsor of terrorism.
“We don’t know how he did it,” said Father Frederico Lombardi, press secretary for Pope Benedict XVI, referring to President Bush’s ability to rid an entire nation of evilness. “It is a mystery of the highest order. Was it his stubborn refusal to have talks with the North Koreans, or his later acceptance of old-fashioned diplomacy? Either way, the president seems to have become an instrument for some form of divine intercession.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama was scheduled to arrive in Rome later today, along with the Patriarch of the Eastern Orthodox Church, Rabbi Shlomo Moskowitz of Jerusalem and dozens of other religious figures. They hope through prayer, meditation and the consultation of holy manuscripts in the Vatican Archives to find some way of replicating the elimination of evil in other countries and perhaps even world-wide.
As he boarded a plane in Dharamsala, India, the Dalai Lama spoke briefly with reporters. “As you know, we believe that Buddha resides in everyone,” he said. “But when I heard Kim Jong Il was no longer evil you could have knocked me over with a prayer shawl.”
The sole note of disapproval came from Teheran, where Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad voice his country’s displeasure over what is seen there as the defection of a former Axis of Evil ally.
“We thought they were really, truly evil,” Mr. Ahmadinejad said. “But it turns out they were just faking it all along, just like Libya. Evilness isn’t something you experiment with in your freshman year in college, you know. Either you mean it or you don’t.” The Iranian leader paused and seemed to brush a tear from the corner of his eye. “We’re going to be a lot more careful with the next country we let in the Axis, I promise you that.”
