Author Archives: Richie

A Historic Night

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Hillary Clinton Loses Fight For Nomination

Hillary Clinton Congratulates Herself On 2nd-Place Finish

Hillary Clinton had praise for the campaign of Hillary Clinton.

Richieville News Service – NEW YORK, NY

To mark a historic night for the Democratic Party and for the nation, Hillary Clinton took to the stage here and congratulated herself for running the first significant losing campaign by a woman for the candidacy of either major political party. Senator Clinton, addressing a room packed with supporters of the Clinton campaign, spoke with great emotion about all that Hillary Clinton has stood for during Hillary Clinton’s long career. 

As the Clinton loyalists chanted, “On to Denver!” and “Hillary! Hillary!”Senator Clinton listed the many accomplishments of the campaign to elect Hillary Clinton, pointing out that it has taken the message of Hillary Clinton to every state, despite the attempts to silence the voices of the supporters of Hillary Clinton.

“So many people said this race was over five months ago,” Clinton said, reminding the Clinton faithful of their determination to press on for the causes that Hillary Clinton spends her life fighting for. Senator Clinton then thanked all those who had voted for Hillary Clinton, as well as those who had prayed for Hillary Clinton and given Hillary Clinton the strength to carry on the sixteen-month campaign for the election of Hillary Clinton. She made it clear that even though she came in second, as far as Hillary Clinton was concerned, Hillary Clinton was still the best candidate. 

Standing nearby and giving Senator Clinton support were her husband, the former President Bill Hillary Clinton Clinton and Senator Clinton’s daughter Chelsea Hillary Clinton Clinton. 

Vowing to spend the next few days thinking about the next steps for Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton called on those who had voted for Hillary Clinton or given money to Hillary Clinton or ever thought about Hillary Clinton or wished they had never heard the name Hillary Clinton or just can’t stop repeating the words Hillary Clinton to send in their suggestions to Hillary Clinton at Hillary Clinton’s website, hillaryclinton.com.

“Hillary Clinton,” said Hillary Clinton. “Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton.”

Then Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton to Hillary Clinton with Hillary Clinton and Hillary Clinton alongside Hillary Clinton. Also Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton.

Hillary.

Clinton. 

Hillary Clinton.

Al Gore Incites God’s Wrath

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Global Warming God’s Punishment 

For Climate Change Theory

     

Did Al Gore cause global warming?

Richieville News Service – IOWA CITY, IA

The deadly tornadoes that have swept through the Midwest in recent weeks are God’s vengeance for the, “secular humanist theory of climate change,” according to Rev. Don. Druckee, pastor of the 24,000 member World of Christ megachurch here. The evangelical minister said the widespread belief that human beings could change the Earth’s climate had angered the supreme deity, who was now expressing his wrath by raising global temperatures an average of 0.84 degrees Celsius. 

“God created the world and its climate,” the Rev. Druckee said, speaking before the National Association of The World O’God Churches. “The idea that mere humans could alter God’s climate is not only arrogant but sinful. That is why God is melting the polar ice caps and turning Kansas into a desert – to punish us for believing in global warming.”

Rev. Druckee said that this punishment was similar to previous punishments the supreme being has meted out to the United States, including the destruction of New Orleans, the terrorist attack of September 11, the HIV/AIDS virus and the plague of serpents falling from the sky Mr. Druckee has predicted for August 27, 2009, 3:14 PM Eastern Standard Time. 

The outspoken minister did not deny that climate change is indeed occurring, and creating the extreme weather like the tornadoes that recently ravaged this state. However, he said the cause of the change was not carbon emissions from fossil fuels, but the blasphemy of liberals, gays and atheists like Al Gore. 

“Did anybody notice any global warming until Al Gore started going around talking about it all the time?” he demanded, to thunderous applause. “He just got God mad, boiling mad.” 

Although his address was filled with fire and brimstone, the Christian fundamentalist did end on a more hopeful note. If Americans would renounce the, “false prophet,” of climate change, then, Rev. Druckee promised, God would relent and end global warming. 

“It’s simple,” he said in closing. “If you want to end global warming, all you have to do is stop believing in it.”