Author Archives: Richie

Lowered Expectations

Death and Taxes – Americans Choose

Richieville News Service – WASHINGTON
It is often said that the two sure things in life are death and taxes, but new research shows that Americans believe they can choose between them and are ready to die rather than accept higher taxes for the wealthy. As reported by the Congressional Budget Office, there is a widening gap between average life spans of the rich and poor.  For the first time, life expectancy is actually declining in some areas of the country.  
“I may live 7.5 years less than some rich person,” said Elma Witherspoon, of Athens, Texas. “but at least we reduced the capital gains tax to 15 percent.” Ms. Witherspoon lives in Henderson County, one of the 180 U.S. counties where life spans for women declined between 1983 and 1999. “Now if we can just make the Bush tax cuts permanent,” she said, ” I can go to my grave with a happy heart and sooner than I had planned.”
Most of the counties where life spans have shortened are in the south, where voters have embraced Republican policies of cuts in social services accompanied by cuts in tax rates for the super wealthy. This would seem to bear out the conclusion that many voters would rather die than see the rich give up their tax shelters.
James McGregor lives in Fayette County, Alabama, where men on average live 11 years less than men in the most long-lived areas. “Nobody lives forever,” he said, on a recent spring morning, while waiting to fill out a job application at WalMart. “What’s a few years of life compared to letting rich people have lower effective tax rates than working people? Sure, if we had national health insurance, I might be able to make it past 65, but by then they’ll probably have done away with Social Security, so I won’t have anything to live on, anyway.”
Patricia Peabody, of Fulton County, Arkansas, though doomed by poverty and neglect to be among the 19 percent of American women whose life spans will be shorter, had a philosophical attitude about her sooner-than-average demise. “I just don’t like big government, ” she said. “And that’s the way I’m voting, even if it kills me.”

OPINION

Black People to Whites:

We Don’t Hate You


Dear White People,

Rev. Jeremiah Wright is back in the news, thanks to his interview with Bill Moyers and his speech to the NAACP and we know that once again he’s making you pretty nervous. So we all got together and decided it was time to say something to you, something we probably should have said a long time ago.
We don’t hate you.

That’s right, we don’t hate you, white people. In fact, we like you. We really, really like you. A lot.
See, white people, we know that underneath your anger and outrage, you’re just very, very sensitive. You can’t bear the thought that black people might be holding some kind of grudge against you. Just thinking about it hurts your feelings. We understand. We do, really!
We get it. You think we’re angry and that makes you feel bad and then you get angry back. We know we haven’t said this before but we feel really, really bad that you feel bad. It must be hard to be so sensitive but that’s one of the things we admire about you. The funny thing is that it’s all one big misunderstanding. We’re not angry at all. Slavery, Jim Crow, segregation, lynch mobs and the KKK? We are like, so totally over all of that.
We know sometimes it looks like we’re angry, but really, we’re not – not with you, anyway. It’s probably just something we ate, or maybe we got stuck in traffic or our cable TV is out. There are lots of reasons we could be feeling grumpy or irritable, but none of them is you. We certainly don’t blame you for any of the things that have happened to us since our ancestors were dragged here in chains 400 years ago. We know none of it is your fault. Not one bit!
And Jeremiah Wright? We keep telling you, he’s retired. And he’s old. And oh, yeah – did we mention that he has a really bad case of athlete’s foot? That would make anyone seem angry.
Oh, white people, the truth is, not only are we not angry with you in the slightest, not only do we really like you, but we want to be your friends. Really, we do – all of us. Best friends forever. Because we think you’re cool. Really.
So just to make it absolutely clear, we don’t hate you, not one little bit. Okay?
Now will you vote for Barack Obama?

Your Friends (we really mean it),
Black People