Category Archives: 2008 election

A Historic Night

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Hillary Clinton Loses Fight For Nomination

Hillary Clinton Congratulates Herself On 2nd-Place Finish

Hillary Clinton had praise for the campaign of Hillary Clinton.
Richieville News Service – NEW YORK, NY
To mark a historic night for the Democratic Party and for the nation, Hillary Clinton took to the stage here and congratulated herself for running the first significant losing campaign by a woman for the candidacy of either major political party. Senator Clinton, addressing a room packed with supporters of the Clinton campaign, spoke with great emotion about all that Hillary Clinton has stood for during Hillary Clinton’s long career. 
As the Clinton loyalists chanted, “On to Denver!” and “Hillary! Hillary!”Senator Clinton listed the many accomplishments of the campaign to elect Hillary Clinton, pointing out that it has taken the message of Hillary Clinton to every state, despite the attempts to silence the voices of the supporters of Hillary Clinton.
“So many people said this race was over five months ago,” Clinton said, reminding the Clinton faithful of their determination to press on for the causes that Hillary Clinton spends her life fighting for. Senator Clinton then thanked all those who had voted for Hillary Clinton, as well as those who had prayed for Hillary Clinton and given Hillary Clinton the strength to carry on the sixteen-month campaign for the election of Hillary Clinton. She made it clear that even though she came in second, as far as Hillary Clinton was concerned, Hillary Clinton was still the best candidate. 
Standing nearby and giving Senator Clinton support were her husband, the former President Bill Hillary Clinton Clinton and Senator Clinton’s daughter Chelsea Hillary Clinton Clinton. 
Vowing to spend the next few days thinking about the next steps for Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton called on those who had voted for Hillary Clinton or given money to Hillary Clinton or ever thought about Hillary Clinton or wished they had never heard the name Hillary Clinton or just can’t stop repeating the words Hillary Clinton to send in their suggestions to Hillary Clinton at Hillary Clinton’s website, hillaryclinton.com.
“Hillary Clinton,” said Hillary Clinton. “Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton.”
Then Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton to Hillary Clinton with Hillary Clinton and Hillary Clinton alongside Hillary Clinton. Also Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton.
Hillary.
Clinton. 

Hillary Clinton.

Appeaser-Ashmeaser

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Israel Talks To Syria

Loses Jewish Vote
Israel fears another address by President Bush.

Richieville News Service – BOYNTON BEACH, FL
  In retirement communities and delicatessens across this state, Jewish voters expressed grave reservations over the news of Israel’s peace talks with Syria. The outpouring of criticism  raised the possibility that Israel might be losing the support of one of its core constituencies, Jews.
“They’re talking to terrorists!” said Bernie Kupferstein, 74, as he leaned on his shuffleboard stick at the Aberdeen Country Club. “I can’t believe Israel would betray Israel like that.”
At Izzie’s Genuine New York Deli, in Boca Raton, Shirley Goldenfarb, 83, shared Mr. Kuperferstein’s sentiments. “It seems like Israel doesn’t have Israel’s interests at heart,” she said, vigorously waving her bagel with a schmear. “And to think of all the trees I paid for over there. Appeasers! Feh!”
Maury Lefkowitz, 91, nodded in agreement. “I heard that Turbowitz is a Muslim,” he said, grimacing over his plate of cheese blintzes, “like Obama.”He was referring to Yoram Turbowitz, one Israel’s chief negotiators in the talks. Mr. Turbowitz is Jewish. Senator Barack Obama is a Christian.
The reaction was much the same across Florida, where elderly Jews, usually stalwart supporters of the Jewish state, echoed the words of President Bush, who just last week made a speech to the Israeli parliament, comparing those who would talk to “terrorists and radicals” to the politicians who appeased Hitler before World War II. It is now clear that Mr. Bush knew of the peace talks at that time.
At Century Village, Fanny Glembotski, 98, was so distraught over the idea of negotiating with the government of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, she could hardly concentrate on her cards as she played casino with her friend, Goldie Mintz, 103.
“Turgeman is an Arab,” she stated with assurance. “Everyone at the synagogue says so.” She was referring to Shalom Turgeman, foreign policy advisor to Israeli prime minister Ehud Olmert.
“And Olmert is a Palestinian,” added Mrs. Mintz.
Sheila Blumenstein, 114, disagreed with Mrs. Mintz. “Don’t be stupid, Olmert’s not a Palestinian,” she said emphatically. “He’s friends with that Reverend Wright.”
“You don’t say?” replied Mrs. Mintz. “It figures.”
Both Mr. Turgeman and Mr. Olmert are Jewish and neither has any association with Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
In Jerusalem, members of Mr. Olmert’s government braced themselves for the inevitable onslaught of criticism not just from Jewish senior citizens but from the Bush administration, which had actively opposed any contacts with Syria.
“We know we let down George Bush and John McCain,” said one high level Israeli government official, speaking off the record. “And we know they’re both going to make major speeches attacking us. And what about Fox News? They’re going to eviscerate us, every hour on the hour, 24/7. But what can we do? We’re just weak.”
The official expressed confidence that Jews would eventually come around to supporting Israel, but for the time being, Mrs. Blumenstein and her friends were having none of it.
“And that appeaser Lieberman, he goes to the same church as Farrakhan,” she insisted. When told that Louis Farrakhan, leader of the Nation of Islam, does not attend a church and that he has no ties with Senator Joseph Lieberman, who is Jewish, she was genuinely surprised.
“Really?” said Mrs. Blumenstein, who turned 115 during the writing of this report, “he doesn’t look Jewish.”