Category Archives: Iraq

Border Trouble

Iraq-Pakistan Border Situation Grave

Czechoslovakia To Send Troops
The Iraq-Pakistan border conflict threatens to spread to other regions.

Richieville News Service – BABYLONIA

The situation along the border between Iraq and Pakistan, first reported by Senator John McCain, grew more serious today, alarming foreign policy experts who maintain that the border does not exist. The crisis threatened to spill over into the neighboring countries of Iceland and Argentina and worried observers as far away as Siam and Rhodesia.

Czechoslovakia, often cited by Senator McCain and which ceased to be a nation in 1993, offered to send troops to the troubled region and said its armored brigade would be joined by a cavalry regiment from the Holy Roman Empire and several legions from Carthage, although the latter could not be confirmed. The hope is to keep the Iraq-Pakistan border dispute from disrupting trade along the Silk Road to Cathay as well as stop raids by marauding bands of orcs from Mordor.
Senator McCain said in a statement released today that his knowledge of the situation along the Iraq-Pakistan border showed that he, and not his rival, Senator Barack Obama, has the foreign policy experience to successfully end the conflict between Mesopotamia and the thirteen colonies.

Richieville Lifestyle Tips

Americans Embrace Idea Of “Time Horizon”

Can You Make It Work For You?

Following the leadership of President Bush, millions of Americans have enthusiastically replaced their outmoded “deadlines” and “timelines” with the latest trend in time management – the general time horizon. As the president demonstrated just last week, a strict and rigid timetable for getting things done may not be the best approach to solving problems, whether it’s household finance or getting out of a five-year-old land war in Asia. 
In place of an unforgiving and stress-producing timeline, Mr. Bush suggested instead  a “general time horizon” for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq. You might not think so at first glance, but that little phrase is more than a rhetorical device used by the president to avoid admitting the complete failure of his previous policy. It just might be your key to a happier and more carefree life. How does it work? Here are some tips for putting a time horizon on your horizon. 
* Tell your bank or mortgage holder that you are switching from a monthly payment “deadline” to a more flexible payment time horizon. Explain that the transfer of your payment is an aspirational goal, one that will require effort on both sides to meet.
* At your next AA or 12-step meeting, stand up and announce that you have adopted a time horizon for giving up your addiction to glue sniffing and prescription pain killers. Make it clear that a strict timetable, such as quitting right away, does not allow for adjustment for developments “on the ground.”
* Schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss setting a general time horizon for your arrival at work each day. Remember, what’s important is that you agree on the mission, not when it starts or ends.
* Use time horizons when cooking or baking! That turkey will come out of the oven when people are ready to eat it – not sooner, not later.
* Tell your ex-spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend that you cannot set a firm timetable for moving out of the apartment. Setting a withdrawal date will only embolden them to begin another (probably destructive) relationship that much sooner.
* On your next night out, don’t consult the movie timetables. Instead, use a general time horizon to plan when you get to the theater. If the movie has already started, even if it’s almost over, stay the course and see it anyway.
See how easy it is? You can also use time horizons when refilling your gas tank or walking the dog or feeding the baby. There are hundreds, if not billions of ways to use time horizons in your everyday life. Try one and see. Get started today – or tomorrow, or whenever.  Whatever you’re doing may not be on time, but it will definitely be on the horizon!