Category Archives: George Bush

It’s A Miracle!

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Religious Leaders To Study Disappearance
Of Evil From North Korea
Dalai Lama, Pope To Confer

Why is Kim Jong Il no longer evil?

Richieville News Service –VATICAN CITY

Religious leaders and philosophers from around the world gathered here today to ponder what many are calling a true modern miracle – the sudden disappearance of evil from the country of North Korea. The communist dictatorship, long isolated and reviled as a member of the Axis of Evil, has experienced a dramatic turnaround, losing so much evil in recent weeks that U.S. President Bush declared it no longer a state sponsor of terrorism.

“We don’t know how he did it,” said Father Frederico Lombardi, press secretary for Pope Benedict XVI, referring to President Bush’s ability to rid an entire nation of evilness. “It is a mystery of the highest order. Was it his stubborn refusal to have talks with the North Koreans, or his later acceptance of old-fashioned diplomacy? Either way, the president seems to have become an instrument for some form of divine intercession.”
His Holiness the Dalai Lama was scheduled to arrive in Rome later today, along with the Patriarch of the Eastern Orthodox Church, Rabbi Shlomo Moskowitz of Jerusalem and dozens of other religious figures. They hope through prayer, meditation and the consultation of holy manuscripts in the Vatican Archives to find some way of replicating the elimination of evil in other countries and perhaps even world-wide.
As he boarded a plane in Dharamsala, India, the Dalai Lama spoke briefly with reporters. “As you know, we believe that Buddha resides in everyone,” he said. “But when I heard Kim Jong Il was no longer evil you could have knocked me over with a prayer shawl.”
The sole note of disapproval came from Teheran, where Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad voice his country’s displeasure over what is seen there as the defection of a former Axis of Evil ally.

“We thought they were really, truly evil,” Mr. Ahmadinejad said. “But it turns out they were just faking it all along, just like Libya. Evilness isn’t something you experiment with in your freshman year in college, you know. Either you mean it or you don’t.” The Iranian leader paused and seemed to brush a tear from the corner of his eye. “We’re going to be a lot more careful with the next country we let in the Axis, I promise you that.”

Never Mind

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Koreans Protest “Mad Cowboys”

Government Near Collapse Due To Translation Error
Angry South Koreans say no to “mad cowboys.”

Richieville News Service – SEOUL, South Korea
Tens of thousands of South Koreans took to the streets today, inflamed by mistaken reports that their government had lifted a ban on the importation of American, “mad cowboys.”  Carrying signs that read “No Mad Cowboys!” and “George Bush Go Home!” over 80,000 demonstrators in central Seoul tried to march on the presidential Blue House. In response to the outpouring of anger, the cabinet of president Lee Myung-bak offered to resign.
The demonstrators did not appear to accept President Lee’s explanation that the government had not lifted a ban on “mad cowboys,” but on American beef, which had been banned five years ago due to fears of mad cow disease. Apparently a botched translation has led to widespread rumors that President George Bush is moving to South Korea after he leaves office next January. 
“You keep your mad U.S. cowboys,” shouted protestor Hong Min-jae, as he prepared to do battle with riot police. “And your mad cows, too. We don’t want either. But if we have to choose, we’ll take the mad cows.”